If your eulogy went something like: “She followed every rule with precision. She rarely made a mistake and was a great champion of the status quo. She never ruffled any feathers, took any great risks, suffered any great loss. She always operated within the bounds of appropriateness. She had the love and acceptance of her community, family, and friends, though no one knew her. Her life was smooth sailing because she never rocked the boat. She contained her passion, her dreams, and her danger enough that they could call her a good woman”?
For some, that would be enough. But not for you.
Your epitaph will begin: “She redefined what it meant to be a good woman.”
It will say: “She scaled mountains, in hiking boots and in heels. She started in her own backyard and then went all the way around the world. She accepted challenges with curiosity and determination. She emerged victorious regardless of outcome, knowing both the pleasure of success and the grace of failure. She tasted long hot days and cool still nights, at home wherever she found herself. She wasn’t always popular, but she was always true. She wasn’t always comfortable, but no one can say she didn’t enjoy her life. She explored her edges, increased her capacity, and lived as big as she could dream. Moved equally by bliss and pain, she played her heart out one moment at a time. She was dialed in. She was courageous. She was turned on.”
If this sounds more like you, what are you waiting for?
Turn-on lives at the edge of what you think is possible. It is ignited when you dare to dream,
act, create, and operate outside the bounds of the status quo.
A turned-on woman is an awakening woman, a woman who is coming alive. She is ignited in purpose, relationship, and sexuality; body, mind, and heart.
A turned-on woman does not fear danger, risk, or being different. She knows that life happens out of bounds. What she fears are the true killers: mediocrity, fitting in, and being average.
A turned-on woman burns big. She will not be contained by size zero pants, quiet whispers, or the role of follower.
A turned-on woman redefines what it means to be a good woman. She takes the existing images, consumes them, and resets the bar. She is undaunted in the face of others’ expectations of her. Not because she discounts them. Because she knows she will exceed them.
A turned-on woman isn’t defined by her circumstances. She defines her circumstances by who she chooses to be within them. Urban career woman, suburban secret agent—it is the substance, not the packaging, that determines her destiny.
A turned-on woman resets the definition of what it means to be generous and compassionate. She will not call out sugary platitudes to soothe and comfort people in hell. She will, with ferocity and gentleness, go into the fire and get them out. Her compassion is the outgrowth of the most relentless parental instinct, love of the superhuman, car-lifting variety. She can—she will—she must lift the weight of imagined fear from herself and others. She will not stand by, hoping and praying that everything will be okay. She will hold herself responsible for ensuring that it is.
She recognizes fear in a hundred different disguises. She knows its subtle minions—“us” versus “them,” tit for tat, selling out. She knows that sustainable change comes not from responding to its effects or symptoms, but from eradicating the fear at its source. She will not allow herself to be a carrier of the fear disease in either action or reaction. She knows to reject the fear in others—not the ones held hostage by it, not the actions they take under its influence—but the fear itself.
She will not settle for the best of the options set before her. Instead she will create new and better ones. She sees opportunity all around her, bounty even in scarcity.
She will reject mere excellence from anyone who is capable of more. She is willing to push another to greatness even when what is offered fulfills an immediate need. She recognizes that her purpose in this world is not to get things done, not to meet deadlines or achieve worldly success, but to draw from people what they did not know they were capable of. If her standards are being met but the people around her are not alive, turned on, and engaged, then she rethinks her strategy. She recognizes that no one goes unless we all go.
A turned-on woman will not sacrifice truth in order to be appropriate. She may present with all the markings of the status quo, but only because she knows that change happens from within. She is always reshaping the mold to her own design. The laws of linear, familiar, predictable, tried-and-true are there to be broken in favor of her real truth: the kind that is dangerous, exponential, unique, creative, and now.
She sees how easy it would be to use the roles she has chosen to maintain her own comfort. Instead she uses them to set herself free. She believes that her responsibility as a mother is to create a better world for her children—not to show them how to fit into the existing one. She recognizes that the greatest gift she can give those around her is an example of a woman who is waking up in the middle of her own life.
The turned-on woman knows there is wisdom in darkness. She knows that she will have bad days, bad weeks, bad months. She does not apologize or fall prey to guilt and shame. She can hold difficult emotions, transmuting sadness, disappointment, and exhaustion into fuel for her journey. She enters the deep, feels it fully, gets what she needs, and moves on. She goes down but she doesn’t go out.
A turned-on woman does not feel the need to dress sex up so it looks one way or another. She does not perform, embellish, or supplement. Instead she stays present, opens herself to the experience, and feels her way. She experiences what is there and asks for what she desires.
A turned-on woman wants a partner who is willing and able to have this kind of sex with her. More than that, she wants a partner who desires this same kind of sex for themselves. Generative sex; sex that begets more turn-on, more awakening, and more sex. Sex that ignites; that lights up the power grid. The turned-on woman knows that she is the live wire.
Turned-on women are changing the world. Your participation is requested.